Memorial Services for Dad

Memorial Service for Richard Charles DeGruccio will be held on Saturday March 14, 2009 at 11:00 am at the LDS Church on Deseret Ave. in Fair Oaks, CA. (old Fair Oaks Stake Center) it will be followed with a celebration of his life~A Mexican Fiesta.
Our beloved father, passed to the next life this morning about 8:00am. Kathy and I had spent the night. Kathy slept in the same room as Dad and checked on him frequently. We could all hear him breathing and sleeping soundly all night. Kathy, Annie and Mom were checking on him and he smiled at Mom as she kissed him and told him she loved him. Just minutes later, I came into the room and immediately went to check on him. I couldn't see very well without my contacts and he looked awfully yellow. I went up to him and saw he wasn't moving and his heart was not beating out of his chest like it had the past few days. I laid my hand on his chest and felt nothing, I walked into the other room to get my sisters and mother. We all went to his side as Mom announced he had passed on. He had gone in between our visits in the room. He went peacefully and we don't think he experienced any pain. Dad was always smiling and during the past few days his smiles only came as those who loved him expressed their love for him. That was hard to watch but we were blessed that he still knew who we were up to the very end. We are all gathered together, Mike and his family arrived this afternoon. We are so grateful to spend this cherished time taking care of a man who took care of so many his whole life. It's amazing how many people's lives he touched. I never remember my Father ever saying a harsh word to me and I never doubted his love for me and for His Savior and Father in Heaven. I'm sure my siblings would say the same. We appreciate all your thoughts and prayers and look forward to celebrating our Daddy's life with you.

It's time to say goodbye...

The Hospice nurse came today and Dad has a very high fever. From all of this symptoms, she informed us that he probably won't last through the weekend. We knew this was coming, but it still doesn't make it easy. He can still smile at us but has labored breathing and his body is working so hard. How greatful we are that he has created such a loving family to hold each other up during this time. We all know we have been blessed beyond measure to call him our Daddy!

Are you trying to buy a horse??

Last Friday, February 27th, Annie actually got Dad in his wheelchair and took him for a walk out in the sunshine (which we haven't seen much of lately). They went to the local neighborhood park with little Whitney. He really enjoyed it. Mom had left for Disneyland with Rick's family on Tuesday night so it was just us daughters to care for him through Saturday. On Friday night, the Skinner's went to a King's game and I came to be with Dad. I brought him Panda Express and he was pretty excited to have that and smothered it in Soy Sauce, something he has had to refrain from. He was pretty alert and still smiling, and still calling me "beautiful". He get confused of what day it is and where he is but he recognizes all of us. Annie and I got him ready for bed and then he asked for a kiss, we both kissed him and Annie kissed him on his lips and noticed his mouth was bleeding. So I flicked on the lights and started lifting up his lips to examine his gums and he said,"What are you trying to do? But a Horse?" We all laughed so hard. Not sure where he comes up with that humor but it works for me. That night he was pretty restless. The next morning he was still really restless. He had some cereal and then couldn't seem to relax. His nose was a little stuffed up so he was having an extra hard time breathing. He panicked a few times and said he couldn't breathe very well, in fact he could hardly get the words out. I called the Hospice Nurse and after she asked me some questions she told me to go ahead and give him morphine and anti-anxiety medication. Kathy came over and the two of us watched him as he tried so hard to sleep but was so restless and still seemed anxious. He ended up having two more doses and finally four hours later he fell asleep, and slept, and slept and slept. We haven't seen him sleep that soundly in sooooo long. As hard as it was, we know he needed that rest. His poor little body is so worn out. He finally woke up on Monday morning. They were able to get him in his chair and he was in and out of being alert but still pretty tired. They had to give him morphine again when they put him to bed. When I came in this morning, Tuesday March 3rd, for the first time he didn't smile at me and call me beautiful, I did eventually get a smile though. He seems really out of it and can barely talk, we aren't sure if that is the drugs or just his condition. What ever the case we are just trying to make him comfortable.

Got some Scotch?

Sunday Morning I went over to stay with Dad to let Mom attend church. That was really hard to stay home...ha ha. As soon as I walked in Dad said "can you get me some Scotch?" And I said, "Only if I can have some too!" We laughed...not sure if he was serious or not? I made or should I say toasted some waffles and he gobbled those up. He asked if it would be alright if he slept, and I said "why?" And he said "because you came to visit me." "Oh Dad, you go right ahead and sleep all you want!" Kathy came over for a short time too and assisted me in changing him, Thank Goodness! Dad told her I was talking too much and wouldn't let him sleep???? I had been at the computer as quiet as can be. He was a little dilusional seeing things and waking after talking in his sleep. The hard thing is that he knows he is seeing things and asks if I can see them too, I said, "do want the truth?" We then discussed how none of us can control our mortality. "I could go tomorrow" and he said "ohhhh, that would leave a big hole in my heart! But your right, we can't control it." He still has such a good sense of humor and cracks me up! And he is still as loving as ever!

We're going out to Mexican Food....all 18 of us!

Wow, today has been an interesting day. Our cousin Dave Petrizze, came out from Utah to visit for a couple days and last night he made us some incredible Authentic Italian Pizza. You can imagine how much Dad enjoyed that. Gathered together were the Chidesters(those who weren't sick), the Skinners, Mom and Dad, our cousin Dave and our good friend Judy (who by the way made the most wonderful chocolate chip cookies)!! The kids had fun helping with the Pizzas and Dad sat in his chair facing the kitchen so he could watch the fixings. Everyone had a great time and we were all stuffed. This morning Dave and I arrived to take care of Dad and found him in a confused state. He had been that way since he woke up. We are blessed he still knows who HE is and everyone else. But it's been a little nutty listening to him all day. He has been very chatty. He has been asking me and Annie about getting everyone ready to go out to dinner, all 18 of us? Anyone who really knows Dad knows he looooooves Mexican Food. Well, that's where he was taking us tonight, and he was buying. It was rather cute and so much like the old Dad we remember. I asked him if he wanted lunch today and he grabbed my hand and whispered, "All I need is your lovin"! We imagine it's the toxins in his body confusing his brain, this has happened before, but he has been awful chatty today. Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh or cry, but I can't do either one in front of him or he thinks I'm up to something. If he isn't talking confusing chatter he is resting with a big grin on his face. Silly Daddy! Unfortunately we never made it to dinner, but I imagine he will bring up the mexican food thing again plenty of times! I think we may have to bring it to him....
P.S. We appreciate your comments and welcome them.

Milk Shakes and French Fries

I am with Dad again today. He got sick this morning while the aide was here so I came over to help Annie. Kathy ended up here too. We have all hung out here together. He doesn't want to eat really or even drink much. We did go get him a milk shake and fries though he didn't eat very many fries (crazy I know). He won't let go of the milk shake though, I tried to put it away for him but he said "over my dead body!" Obviously he still has his sense of humor. He is very achy today so we really can't even move him. He keeps waking with a smile on his face...I had a very sweet talk with him today. He told me he couldn't go yet, he had too many people to love, can you imagine him loving anymore? Imagine what we can learn from that...my Daddy has taught me so much but one of the greatest things he instilled in me is the pure love of Christ. Dad definately knew and lived that throughout his life. He has always been a great example of unconditional love.

Dad's update

Today is Tuesday, my day, to be with Dad. Although Annie's day is everyday, she has been a great help or should I say I have been a help to her. Since I don't know how to work everything.
Last Tuesday Hospice came into their home and evaluated Dad's needs. He was such a show off smiling from ear to ear and cracking jokes. Finally on Friday the bed and hoist was delivered along with many other supplies they are providing. What a huge blessing they are. Just about every day someone is coming in to assist in someway. We still have to do the majority of the work (Mom and Annie) but they have been a great help. This past week Dad has been very alert and back to himself. Since he is in a bed his poor little legs are all skinny again. They were soooooo swollen for so long I had forgotten how skinny his legs are. The bed was put in the family room because there wasn't enough room in their bedroom. This has been a huge relief for Mom since she can finally sleep well. I think they are both sleeping better. Annie and I figured out how to get him in the hoist and transfer him to his chair. He looks like a little child in a swing, I can't help but laugh when we put him in the hoist. Dad has enjoyed all the visitors and attention from Hospice staff. It has lifted all our spirits. The way the floor plan is in their new home is amazingly perfect. The Lord has really blessed us all!