Letter from Bob Telford read by Anthony Telford at Dad's Memorial

March 7, 2009
Dear Eileen, Kathy, Rick, Jennie, Michael and Annie:
I don’t remember the exact time, but many years ago Richard, (He was Dick DeGruccio back then) and I made a deal. We were young; we had lots of dark hair and thought we would live forever. We agreed that whoever went first the other would speak at the funeral. We renewed this agreement often over the years. It seemed so far in the future that it was easy to talk about. I think I secretly hoped I would go first because I know Richard would have said wonderful things about me. He was the best funeral speaker I knew! He could have made a fortune as a professional funeral speaker!
A few years ago I had to start accepting the fact that Richard might go before me. It was hard to accept not just because I loved him so much, but who would speak for me? I hope you know that I did not decide to serve a mission to get out of our agreement. I really didn’t think Heavenly Father wanted him this soon. I just kept hoping and praying that he would regain his strength and be the Richard of yesterdays ready to go and serve God’s children, because that is what he did…He served and he loved it!
We first met when we moved from Florin Ward into Sacramento 7th ward. Eileen’s parents were so excited we were moving into 7th ward so we could meet Eileen and Richard. Brother and Sister Thomas had been like parents to us when we joined the Church, in Florin Ward. So I made a point to introduce myself to Richard on our first Sunday in 7th ward and our friendship began.
It was about 1975 when Richard was called as the Chairman of the Stake Youth Activities Committee and he called me as his counselor. It was then I saw the great leadership abilities he had. Everyone loved Richard, everyone enjoyed serving and working with him. He had personal skills that just made you want to work hard for him. Not long after that he was called as the Stake Young Men’s President and, you guessed it, I was his first counselor. We had so much fun in that calling. We worked with so many wonderful people. Murray Fowler was the second counselor, Pete Kenner and Ernie Westover were the High Counselors over YM and YW. What a team, what great friendships were fostered in that calling. I will never forget at a Stake Young Men’s Aaronic Priesthood Outing, at the campfire Richard was speaking and made the famous statement I will never forget…”anyone over 5’8” and under 180 lbs. is a mutant” I have repeated that statement over the years and believe he must have been inspired.
I have seen many times that when wards are split friendships seem to suffer Not with us. Over the years we moved several times but that never affected our friendship. As long as we were in the Rancho Cordova Stake, we still seemed to work together in one capacity or another. I served in bishoprics in 7th ward and Richard was either Bishop of 8th ward, or the Young Single Adult Ward or in the Stake Presidency. I even ended up Stake Executive Secretary when he was counselor in the Stake Presidency. We were always in some kind of meeting together where I could continue to learn and grow from watching and emulating him.
Back then, serving as I mentioned, we started our tradition of spending New Years Eve together. I think we spent every New Years Eve from about 1977 to 2008 together. It started out we would go to the Youth Dance at Mormon Center, then to the Young Single Adult Dance. Those are wonderful memories of lots of fun. I am sure that many of the kids that were at those dances are here today to pay their respects to Richard. After, as we were released from those callings we continued our tradition and as we got older it ended up dinner and movies at one of our homes. We saw some great movies…. like the one about a guy who travelled across the country on a riding lawn mower. They never let me forget that one.
I could go on for hours about the wonderful times we had together, our vacations together. For several years we rented a cabin near Tahoe and would spend time with our children in the snow. You need to have Eileen tell you about the time we went skiing. There isn’t time today.
Richard and Eileen were our models of parenting. Wendy and I learned so much from just observing them in raising their children. What a wonderful legacy Richard leaves in his children a credit to him as a father and Eileen as a mother. I often went to Richard for advice when I had a concern over one of my children. I remember when I went to him one time and he told me….”Let go, and pray” It was the perfect advice at the time, and I have to give some of the credit for my children to Richard and Eileen. My son, who is speaking for me now, is named after Richard, Anthony Richard Telford.
In my adult life, I have protected the title “best friend” I do not use that title loosely. I have given that title only twice, outside of my family, since I was 18 years old. Richard is one of those two. There are only a few people, in my life, I can say truly made a difference, truly influenced me to the good and helped make me who I am today. Richard DeGruccio is one of those special people.
I want to mention the love of Richard’s life, Eileen. What a wonderful example of love, patience and understanding she has been. I know it hasn’t been easy for her to watch the love of her life slowly pass away. I don’t think anyone could have done more than Eileen has these past few years. We were in Hawaii with Richard and Eileen two years ago. Richard was very slow, he couldn’t do much, but Eileen was patient and understanding. I needed to learn from her example. Eileen, we want you to know we love you, you will always be special to us. We look forward to February 2010 when we can be with you and offer our support.
I am so grateful that I injured my shoulder and had to come home for surgery last January. I was able to spend some time with Richard and enjoy his company and see that beautiful smile once more. It was worth having surgery just for that last hour with Richard.
I know where Richard is today, I have a firm and unshakable testimony of the plan of salvation. I believe Richard and I were friends before we came to this earth and we will continue to be friends throughout all eternity. I know that it is through the Atonement of Jesus Christ that Richard is fine. He is happy; he has been reunited with many loved ones and will prepare a place for Eileen and his family. There is a wonderful country and western song called “Waiting on a Woman” Richard is not in a hurry for Eileen to join him, he is content to wait for her, until Heavenly Father decides he has waited long enough. I know that through the sealing power of the Priesthood, the DeGruccio family will be a family forever. For anyone who reads or hears these remarks, I invite you to learn more about the Gospel of Jesus Christ that Richard loves so much. You know the kind of man Richard was during his mortal life. He is who he is because of the Gospel.
I leave you with my testimony that Christ Lives, that He is the head of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I testify that the atonement is real, and that through it we can be saved if we will just do our part. I testify that Joseph Smith was and is a Prophet of God and that we have a living Prophet on the earth today, even Thomas S. Monson. I testify of the Scriptures, the Bible, the Book of Mormon and other inspired works are the words of God given to us to help us find our way back. I testify that Richard lives and is happy and continues to love us as we continue to love him.
I cannot imagine ever having a better friend than Richard DeGruccio. Richard until we meet again; you are and will always be my best friend.
In the name of Jesus Christ….Amen