I'm thinkin' we should take a trip to China...

Last Thursday night our sweet little Grandma Mabel Violet Thomas slipped away after her fight with Alzheimers. She was a fighter, it was a struggle to watch. She had stopped eating a week and a half before. So we knew the end was coming soon. Infact she entered a nursing facility the same week that our Father passed away. Grandma was an incredible woman and what a legacy she left. She had five children herself, she left about 27 Grandchildren and up near 50 Great Grandchildren... I will get an exact count on that. There are a lot of us!! We had her burial today and she was buried next to her Husband, our Grandpa, George Thomas, whom left her about 30 years ago. Grandma was a great example to us all with unwavering faith in the Lord. Sweet Memories as we mourn her loss. Her services will be held this Saturday, April 25th at 2:00 for Family and Services will begin at 2:30 at the LDS Church in Orangevale, California on Main Ave.
Whitney, my neice, said the other day , that she thought Grandpa and Great Grandma had gone to China....she said if we say they arent in Heaven then we would stop crying. So, maybe we should visit China, they were both small people they would blend in well...Funny girl!

He Lives....This I know!

Today is Easter Sunday, our first Holiday without our Daddy. As I think about the Savior and his Atonement and Resurrection, it brings me great comfort and peace to know that we will live again. Just as I know the Savior lives, I know my Daddy lives, he has just gone on to the next stage of life. Knowing this doesn't change that I miss him, but I don't know how I would survive this not knowing I would ever see him again. I don't think I could survive this without the comforter either. At first I was numb, I'm starting to feel again. Saturday Mom, Annie and I went to see Grandma Violet Thomas. She is in the hospice wing at Kaiser, very close to death. It was a difficult experience, especially after what we have all been through. But, it is another testimony to me that our bodies are just temporary place for our spirits to dwell. It didn't even look like the Grandma I knew, and when you look in her eyes, it's as if no one is home. Her body is preparing her spirit to dwell with our Heavenly Father. Not everyone gets that opportunity to slowly go back home. For this I am greatful that we can say our goodbyes. I feel so grateful today to have this knowledge. I feel the love and comfort from all of you and from my immediate family who mourns with me. I heard this at the end of one of my favorite shows...."Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up". Yes, I have to say I feel I've been a little messed up. But I am better for it. I now understand so much more. I have so much empathy for those who have lost a parent. I never understood before. I'm not sure I can say I have "stepped up" yet, but I feel like I am trying my hardest to reach that next step on the stairway of life. Even if I have to be nudged a bit by others. I know that my Redeemer Lives, what comfort this sweet sentence gives."

Sing Sweetly To My Jesus ~ Sung by Kennan and Annie

Kennan and Annie performed this at Dad's Memorial


Sing sweetly to my Jesus, Sing sweetly to his love
And wipe my tears with praises
To my comforter above
My comforter above, the only living soul
Who knows, who knows

Put not your trust in princes,
Nor in the sum of man
But sing sweet life to Jesus
And in his healing hand
And in his healing hand
And in his perfect life

Singing sweetly through this night
Sing sweetly for his mercy,
Sing sweetly for his might
Sing sweetly for his offering

For clothing me with life
For clothing me with life,
For this and yet to come
For this sweet life to come

I'm going home to jesus,
I'll go and kiss his face
Embracing with my brother
And cradled in his grace
And cradled in his grace,

For such a child am I
Singing sweetly, the angels and I
Singing sweetly through this night

Written by Kennan DeGruccio
Copyright by Kennan DeGruccio

One Month Today...

Last night, as I lay in bed with a pit in my stomach and tears in my eyes, I realized that it has been a month since our sweet Father passed. The last time I kissed his breathing, sick body was exactly one month ago, early in the morning hours before he slipped away. This has got to be the hardest past few months I have ever experienced. We all experience it differently. I have learned a lot about myself, my family, my father, immortality and grief in the past few months. I have learned not to judge or expect others to understand what it is exactly that you are feeling. I have learned that I am extremely blessed to have a supportive family, who shows up in times of need, and sometimes they just show up :). I love my family, Dad has left quiet a legacy of love. I have learned what is important and what is not. I have learned that our bodies or only temporary and not who we really are at all. Through these past few months I felt I have pulled away from my Savior, but all along he has been there easing the pain, calming my soul. There is some type of numbness you feel and I'm not sure how to describe it, but I believe it is the spirit protecting us. I feel as though I haven't been on my knees as much as I should, but then I feel like I am in a constant state of prayer. I know the Lord has and does sustain us and have felt his power throughout this experience. I have felt his promptings, not even knowing they were promptings, some too tender to even share. I have been blessed.
Since my Daddy's passing, beautiful memories have graced my mind of the great man he once was, years before his passing. He really hasn't been himself for several years. As we sorted through pictures and told various stories, I realized that I had forgotten who he was. I had been so wrapped up in caring for him that I had really lost some of my memories of him....but they are still there and how beautiful they are.
One of my first memories of my Dad are of going to Fort Bragg and learning how to catch crabs and fish. We went there year after year when I was young. He taught me as a little girl how to gut a fish...which may explain my love of the surgery channel. Mom and Dad also took us on a lot of camping trips when we were young. I remember Dad spraining his ankle on one trip, which may have been our last camping trip :). I can still smell the various hot peppers he would fry up in the kitchen. Usually home grown peppers that would burn your eyes when you walked in the room. I remember him playing the guitar on our boat and singing silly songs to us such as "Great Big Gobs of Greasy Grimey Gopher Guts.... I loved running around the house with my siblings as he played "The Lone Ranger" theme on the piano....we would run until he quit playing. He played the piano by ear. I remember one of the only times seeing him scared enough to swear at the top of the "Tidal Wave" at Great America....it actually made me laugh. I remember watching him laugh as he watched different comedians on TV. I recall him liking the Smother Brothers. He loved to laugh and make others laugh. Dad either called me "Jen" or "Beautiful." He called all of us girls "Beautiful." I remember how he told me how beautiful he thought I was when I came down the stairs to go to Junior Prom. He always made comments on how I looked, which could explain my vanity..Mike would say. But, he instilled in me something even greater, how much he loved me, just me. I understand now what he meant when he said that if "I" died it would leave a big whole in his heart. I feel as though I have a big piece missing in my heart, I literally feel an ache where my heart lies. I know there are many who never have known their father or have bad memories of their father and I pity them. I can't imagine what that would be like...all I know is that have been so blessed to be the daughter of such a loving, charitable, Christ-Like Man. He was my Hero and My Biggest Fan. I can't imagine that I will ever stop missing him until I see his big smile and feel his warm embrace one again! ~Jen